February 2012
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I met my 4-year-old self in line at Walmart...
She told me a story about a Superhero Fairy who flew her magic car (“like Harry Potter’s”) into the sky to rescue a prince.
Then she left the prince on top of a tree.
At one point she yelled “Heya Boo Boo” and made a face at a baby in a passing cart, which is more of a 22-year-old-me move, but whatever.
She was super cute, but I’m still SUPER GLAD she...
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A girl I did theater with a loooong time ago...
Literally all I remember about her as a person is that she shaved her arms and had a shitty boyfriend named “Derik” (with no ‘c’) in 2002.
So I know her better than 30% of my current Facebook friends.
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“Instead of weighing yourself, take personal stock in a more direct fashion. Feel...”
– ASK LESLEY: How Do I Stop Hating My Body (Part One) @ XOJane.com (via curvesahead)
(via redefiningbodyimage)
Getting rid of the scale in my apartment was a big contributor to my own personal body acceptance. It was actually relieving not knowing how much I weigh, because I won’t think of myself as...
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Douglas Adams' Dirk Gently returns to TV with... →
AHHHHHHHHHHHH
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EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
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“Male writers, you are so hot with your minds and plaid shirts. Hit on me.”
– Zooey Deschanel
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I love my boss.
He’s so rich and important that he doesn’t have to give a shit if people like him, but still chooses to be an all-around ok guy.
But I still LOVE IT when he fucks up, because
To lose his job, he’d basically have to kill a student on the football field at halftime.
Its comforting that even The Man finds himself typing the phrase “Folks, my bad on this one…”...
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Anonymous asked: Does TFC stand for something?
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Any time I disagree with someone on the internet
and their response is to get pissy/sarcastic/indignant that someone dares disagree with them, I want to send them a video of a Kindergarten teacher saying “there there, your drawing is pretty, too. You don’t have to spit on hers.”
But they were probably the kid who copied their best friend’s drawing, anyway.
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I am a demon in the night.
Every time TFC tries to wake me up, I turn into a half-living, demon-possessed version of myself, who will stop it nothing to go back to sleep. NOTHING.
And I never remember any of it.
He says last night I told him not to touch me, threatened to break his face, sat up, and indignantly assure him that yes, I was fucking awake.
I was fucking not.
I also sleep like I’m praying to Allah,...
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All Dead Mormons Are Now Gay →
Mitt Romney converted his dead, possibly atheist father-in-law to Mormonism—
Now you can convert your dead Mormon loved one into a homosexual! Or, if you want to do a good deed at random, hit the “Choose-a-Mormon” button.
But remember, as the website says, “No take-backs.”
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“I wrote it on a Mac. I’ve never used a PC in my life; I don’t like them.”
– Brian Eno, on how he composed the Windows 95 music. (via neilmobile)
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BREAKING: Bush Appointee Finds DOMA... →
fuckyeahfeminists:
The Court has ruled that considerations of discrimination against people based on sexual orientation should be held to heightened scrutiny for all four factors that determine such scrutiny:
HISTORY OF DISCRIMINATION: The first factor courts consider is whether the class has suffered a history of discrimination. There is no dispute in the record that lesbians and gay men...
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“Two years ago, my uterus dropped completely out of my body, and because of my...”
– A Woman on the Dr. Phil Show Who Presumably Keeps Her Uterus in a Jar Somewhere
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My mom just told me that my sister "did something...
“Like what, a Senator? …Mom? …Hello?”
Mission Accomplished.