it's got lots to do with magnets

Apr 9

I finally broke down and started playing Words With Friends.

PROS: Beating TFC. Repeatedly.

(Ladies, find yourself a man who still lets you put your cold feet on him after you school his ass at Scrabble and perform a tasteful victory dance.)

CONS: People keep quitting on me after words like “OEUVRE.”

Finally, my freakish, socially awkward vocabulary comes in handy.

Mar 27

Things Facebook Thinks I Might Be Looking For

Everything ModCloth makes
Ugly shoes
Ethical engagement rings
A degree as an ultrasound technician
Adult ADHD treatment
Michelin tires
A used wedding dress
This shirt

Mar 26

THAT’S a good dad.

Mar 25

“

People who score highly on the Narcissistic Personality Inventory questionnaire had more friends on Facebook, tagged themselves more often and updated their newsfeeds more regularly…

It includes ”self-absorption, vanity, superiority, and exhibitionistic tendencies” and people who score high on this aspect of narcissism need to be constantly at the centre of attention. They often say shocking things and inappropriately self-disclose because they cannot stand to be ignored or waste a chance of self-promotion…

Those scoring highly were also more likely to accept friend requests from strangers and seek social support, but less likely to provide it, according to the research.

”

- Study finds link between Facebook use and socially aggressive narcissism

Ok, quick- everybody think about the person you know who most embodies this in your life. Go check their Facebook. See?

Now scrape that bitch off your newsfeed, cause science says it ain’t worth it.

Feb 28

A girl I did theater with a loooong time ago friended me on Facebook

Literally all I remember about her as a person is that she shaved her arms and had a shitty boyfriend named “Derik” (with no ‘c’) in 2002.

So I know her better than 30% of my current Facebook friends.

Jan 25

Ladies and gentlemen, the Director of Health & Safety at 7:19am.